Cold Coffee and Spring Rain

Spring seems to be a time for soul-searching. 

Long walks, filled with introspection and melancholy-

daydreaming, and wishing for things that may never be. 

Love. Hate? Hero...

How do you feel about lying? 

Is it right or wrong? A lot of people think that it's okay to do if you're trying to do something good. 

I will admit that I don't really know, one way or the other. I don't want to cause un- needed pain, so sometimes I pretend to like things that I don't like, or pretend to be friends with people I can't stand- because I don't want to hurt anyone. 

But sometimes, I wonder- which is the more cruel way to be? If I told the truth, who would really be the one that is the most hurt? Would it be me? Do I just want everyone to like me, and so I, just do and say what I think would get me that result? 

Or do I really care about everyone? 

To tell the truth, I don't really care about everyone. I do choose the path of least resistance, because it'll hurt me less. 

If I was a good person, I think I would put everything out in the open, and then move on from there. But being who I am, I would rather hold on to someone I hate, if it keeps me close to the ones I love than risk loosing them, just to get free.

What do you think? Selfish, kindness or just overthinking things?